This is something I feel is a very important issue for moms to keep an eye out for.
This is something I feel very strongly about. And personally, I feel that passive aggression can be abuse. Not all of it obviously but often abuse is in the eye of the abused. And sometimes, what looks like abuse to one person will not look like abuse to others (on the flip side of that are the rare exceptions when what looks like abuse to others is actually NOT abuse… it’s rare but it does happen).
Yes, I speak from experience – and when I say that, I mean that I have been the subject of conversations between people who had absolutely nothing to do with the original “incident” that started out as mildly passive aggressive and went all the way to people wanting to find me and beat me up over something as simple as a difference in lifestyle choice.
Yes, you read that right… a lifestyle choice. That’s it.
I have also been the subject of more than one verbal attack over my choice in religion/literature/music/parenting/clothing choice/etc… Everyone has an opinion about everything people do and unfortunately, some people are determined to make sure you know that their opinion is right, your opinion is wrong and that you should change sides immediately.
Just one of many examples: I did not enjoy high-school. That experience started out well enough, surprisingly. However, a change in schools and income level made my high-school life somewhere between that joke about the toilet paper and the one about the chocolate Easter bunnies.
In other words, not fun.
Since high-school, I have been through two rather nasty divorces and several other failed relationships, none of which were entirely anyone’s fault. But it is difficult to make yourself stay with someone who thinks you are their verbal or physical punching bag, And, for some reason, a lot of people don’t see Psychological or Emotional abuse as actual abuse unless there’s some physical thrown in there as well but let me assure you, IT IS abuse and I have had more than my fair share of experience with passive-aggressive behavior in those type of situations.
Which is one reason I try so hard NOT to do it myself.
Mothers: it is so very important to keep a close monitor on what your children are doing online, what movies they’re watching, what books they’re reading. I’m not talking about control. I’m talking about common sense and safety. You can’t spout this nonsense about giving your children their freedom and then get upset when they are bullied to death or worse, bully someone to death.
There are too many true stories about a teen or even a pre-teen who commits suicide over things said to them and about them online.
Thankfully I was not online much when I was in high-school. If I had been in the middle of some of the conversations I have to deal with now… then, I probably wouldn’t be sitting here typing this right now. Because my peers were not my friends.
So I implore you parents: Please monitor your children closely. Make sure you know who they are talking to online, what they are talking about and then make sure you take the time to discuss anything that could be misconstrued or misunderstood with them until you’re sure they know what is real and true.
And above all else, PLEASE make sure they know how loved they are.
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God Bless You!