not what it used to be

Why I will NEVER put my children in daycare!

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We laugh when we see a character in a movie forget their young child (always a child who is 5 or older mind you) in the car.

We never see someone forget the baby… Why? – because that wouldn’t be good TV.

We cringe when we read the stories about someone’s pet being left in the car and we feel the person who broke their car window with a rock or called the police was perfectly justified in doing so. We may even cheer about it. We certainly retweet or share the story so that everyone knows just how serious this problem is!

… but aren’t our children more important than our pets?

Most parents get very angry when someone says they shouldn’t put their children in daycare or public school…

But do those parents stop to consider that these helpful suggestions are not in fact an attack on their parenting, but an effort to make them stop and really think about what is truly best for their child?

NO.

This is what makes people forget their children in the car when they carry groceries inside. This is what makes people feel it is OK to leave a child in their car with the engine running while they run in to pay for their fuel. This is what makes people brush off their children when they say they are being bullied in school. And this is what, in my own humble opinion, has led to a most horrific tragedy that is apparently occurring all across the US – across all lines of age, income, education, mental capacity and experience.

If you’re still unsure what I’m referring to, please click on the picture above and read the article.

I would love to say that it is ONLY the parents’ faults but that isn’t true.

I would love to say that we can find a way to end this string of senseless deaths but the truth is – there really is no hope for that until we, as a country, change our ways… change our outlook on parenting… change the way we think and act about our precious children.

 

I see them every day! Posts begging people to adopt a dog or a cat that is scheduled to be euthanized. Posts demanding the cruelty end at puppy mills. Posts demanding harsher punishments for people who mistreat their pets. Posts calling for us to break windows or call police when we see a pet locked in a car on a warm day…

 

Where are the posts calling for harsher punishment for the parents who leave their innocent CHILD in a locked car on a hot day!

No. Instead… the article I read, talks about how the lawyers and judges rule that they will punish themselves enough just living with their guilt.

Will they?

 

A relative of mine, who shall remain nameless except to the family and friends who already know about it, suggested that I abort my son. I was single, having walked out of an extremely abusive relationship but I was not 16. I wasn’t even 21. I turned 24 the year my sweet little boy was born. And I felt sick to realize that I share blood with this person.

My mother has been essentially shunned by more than a few friends and most of our family over the years because she “allows me to sit at home and do nothing” and she does not “make me put those kids in school“. There is no use wasting our breath in telling them that my children are flourishing – being schooled at home. And there is no point in wasting our breath defending me – although she does. At every turn she tells them that I work harder than she does and that she doesn’t know how I get everything done that I do in a day.

She is my biggest cheerleader, my strongest advocate and my best friend! And without her, my life could be a cold, dark and dreary place with absolutely no joy. (without her, I probably wouldn’t have my precious children… and without her prayers and guidance I would have moved farther and farther away from God, instead of having the close relationship I have with HIM today).

 

So why do I begin this article with the proclamation that I will never put my children in daycare?

 

Simply this:

I believe, and I am in the minority I’m sure, that our society has successfully made our children less important to us because they tell us over and over and over again, until it becomes a rhetoric in our own head, that we NEED that extra income… we NEED me-time… we NEED a life that is separate from our family… that we NEED to work because we should not have to give up our own identity just because we have children…

That we NEED to allow a woman  to have absolute control over her own body…

And that we NEED to let public schools decide what our children do and do not need to learn.

 

And that, in my humble opinion, is why we are losing this battle. We have lost sight of the fact that our children are only with us for a short time. Some parents get 18 years, some get 21, some get 2… or less.

… no one knows how many years or days or minutes they will live.

So I have two suggestions…

1. If you want to have your own life before you have children, then DO IT! Get it all out of your system and THEN have children, when you can focus on them and give them ALL of your time. Because you never know how much time you will actually get with them!

2. Do not go around acting like you are married – and you know EXACTLY what I mean, before you are READY for marriage and children! Because there is nothing worse for a child than to think that you did not start out wanting them!

 

And give home-school a serious consideration. No, it may not be the right choice or the best choice or even a possible choice (at this time in your life) but it is worth every consideration. Your CHILD is worth the consideration!

 

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Categories: Blogging, Children, Community, Daycare, Homeschool, MY Country, not what it used to be, parenting, Public School | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Is Passive Aggression Abuse?

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This is something I feel is a very important issue for moms to keep an eye out for.

This is something I feel very strongly about. And personally, I feel that passive aggression can be abuse. Not all of it obviously but often abuse is in the eye of the abused. And sometimes, what looks like abuse to one person will not look like abuse to others (on the flip side of that are the rare exceptions when what looks like abuse to others is actually NOT abuse… it’s rare but it does happen).

Yes, I speak from experience – and when I say that, I mean that I have been the subject of conversations between people who had absolutely nothing to do with the original “incident” that started out as mildly passive aggressive and went all the way to people wanting to find me and beat me up over something as simple as a difference in lifestyle choice.

Yes, you read that right… a lifestyle choice. That’s it.

I have also been the subject of more than one verbal attack over my choice in religion/literature/music/parenting/clothing choice/etc… Everyone has an opinion about everything people do and unfortunately, some people are determined to make sure you know that their opinion is right, your opinion is wrong and that you should change sides immediately.

Just one of many examples: I did not enjoy high-school. That experience started out well enough, surprisingly. However, a change in schools and income level made my high-school life somewhere between that joke about the toilet paper and the one about the chocolate Easter bunnies.

In other words, not fun.

Since high-school, I have been through two rather nasty divorces and several other failed relationships, none of which were entirely anyone’s fault. But it is difficult to make yourself stay with someone who thinks you are their verbal or physical punching bag, And, for some reason, a lot of people don’t see Psychological or Emotional abuse as actual abuse unless there’s some physical thrown in there as well but let me assure you, IT IS abuse and I have had more than my fair share of experience with passive-aggressive behavior in those type of situations.

Which is one reason I try so hard NOT to do it myself.

Mothers: it is so very important to keep a close monitor on what your children are doing online, what movies they’re watching, what books they’re reading. I’m not talking about control. I’m talking about common sense and safety. You can’t spout this nonsense about giving your children their freedom and then get upset when they are bullied to death or worse, bully someone to death.

There are too many true stories about a teen or even a pre-teen who commits suicide over things said to them and about them online.

Thankfully I was not online much when I was in high-school. If I had been in the middle of some of the conversations I have to deal with now… then, I probably wouldn’t be sitting here typing this right now. Because my peers were not my friends.

So I implore you parents: Please monitor your children closely. Make sure you know who they are talking to online, what they are talking about and then make sure you take the time to discuss anything that could be misconstrued or misunderstood with them until you’re sure they know what is real and true.

And above all else, PLEASE make sure they know how loved they are.

GOD BLESS!

Disclaimer: I have no control over the ads you may see below. I am sorry if any of the content is inappropriate.

God Bless You!

Categories: Children, Homeschool, not what it used to be, Online Safety, parenting, Public School | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Whatever happened to the Halloween I grew up with…

I used to love Halloween.

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No really I did!

I used to love the magic of it all – dressing up and pretending to be someone else for a few hours, mom following along in her car while we went door to door & then driving us to a friend’s party, the delight of getting a handful of candy from one neighbor and a handmade caramel apple from another.

There’s no other holiday like it.

There’s certainly no other holiday that even remotely resembles what it has become…Thank God!

I won’t tell you to go to google and search Halloween. But I did and can you guess what I found? If you guessed pumpkins and cute little kids you’re half right. No cute little kids anywhere but pumpkins, yes. Gross, yucky, creepy, disgusting pumpkins that I would never want my children to see. ICK!

Not a cute little trick-or-treater in sight.

Lots of pictures of people who really ought not to be anywhere near children dressed that way though.

Even when I went and googled “trick-or-treaters”, I was surprised…and not pleasantly either. There were tons of pictures of kids (who couldn’t possibly be over 10) in the nastiest costumes I’ve ever seen.

What are their parents thinking?

What ever happened to good old-fashioned innocence! Well I guess the answer is in the question. It’s too “old-fashioned”! It went out with respect and people standing up and taking responsibility for their actions.

old-fashioned…

One thing about this holiday (this holiday I used to love) that absolutely floors me is how much craziness it brings out in adults. I have marveled at the comments, tweets and status updates talking about Halloween related things this past month (even a bit longer in some cases).

But what I did not expect and absolutely cannot stand is all the gross avatars, creepy new names & yucky stories being strung together across a dozen tweets. A tweet linking to a blog post with the yucky story I could handle but having to scroll past a hundred of them from several different people, never knowing what nastiness I’m about to read as I scan tweets and having to look at nasty pics every time these people post is enough. More than enough in fact.

Which is why I have chosen to unfollow people who’ve participated in this nonsense.

A person can only take so much!

I have worked so hard to weed these type of influences out of my life. To be slapped in the face with them every time I open Facebook or twitter is just too much.

So I will happily let go of Halloween. I’ve put it to rest. I don’t even need a mourning period.

But I will say Happy Fall!
And God Bless!

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Disclaimer: I have no control over the ads you may see below. I am sorry if any of the content is inappropriate.

God Bless You!

Categories: Children, Halloween, holidays, not what it used to be, parenting | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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